Two Weeks Until the Coming of the Binmen

A chronicle of British survival, where an overflowing blue bin is the main character, and bin day is a true holiday of hope and salvation

A bank holiday is a wonderful thing because you can finally take a little break from work, sleep in, and have an extra cup of tea...

And also, they don't collect the rubbish on this day.. You might think, pfff... so what?

Well, here is what. A blue bin is designed for three days of an average family's existence. If it is a family of monks, then maybe a full five. A secular person, however, produces nothing as enthusiastically and productively as rubbish.

Our bin had to hold out for two weeks! The first few days it held up with dignity, but on the third it grew sad, and on the fifth it went on strike. On the eighth day, space optimization began (let's call it that), and on the tenth we were already compacting the rubbish by jumping on top of it, as if we were in Tuscany.

The street also quickly switched to survival mode:

A mysterious saboteur stealthily threw their rubbish into someone else's bin at three in the morning. Who are they? Where from? Nobody knows...

The engineer next door placed a five-kilo chunk of some wall on top so that the fox, who also survives like a true Brit, wouldn't turn the street into a post-music festival scene.

The optimists, meanwhile, would put their bin out on the street every third day and look out the window with the hope that fate would notice and the binmen would arrive out of schedule. Maybe there is a God.

And today, the coming finally happened. People looked out of their windows. Someone was crying.

God forbid you forgot to take out your bin. You'd be better off moving.